I'll Give All My Heart To You

I need some time to reflect.
why haven't I had any sex?

Thats right, in love with the boy from TO
I wanna be with him, but i don't got enough dough

2 years to chase my dreams
Promises that bind me at the seams

Then BHAM came the you from my youth
Man, you got a girl but i guess thats cool

Momma said there'd be days like this
Baby who the hell you tryin outwit?

Plunder through alcoholic whims
I know you like me, but hunny theres plenty of fish in the sea

Don't make me fall in love with you
Cos after these eyes, whatchu gonna do , huh, whatchu gonna do?

James:45 with Parkinsons-Karen:free ketchup at McDonalds!

Stacey couldn't decide.
up down all around.
Focus on the middle ground!
Dreamers.

Women? lost in Jane Eyre.
Shit, where did he throw my underwear.
Make love not war
Free love in Singapore

Too aware.
Why must we compare?
Focus on the middle ground
Basic needs. Feed.

Sara's Strawberry Shortcake

If you're not interested in it, would you still do it and give it your all?
Yah okay, so i guess it does depend on lots of factors. Like for a start, what "it" is and hey, if "it" is even realistically do-able. So a certain level of practicality has infiltrated my luscious fiery veins of late. Sue the idle daydreams.
Not that there is anything wrong with that decadent candle-lit lined psychedelic rendition of an altar bed to lay on ala Dicaprio and Danes, modern day man has tickled Shakeaspeare.

okay but back to the point.

Say when all you smell is semi-dried laundry with a flash of carpet rash, is sheer will and determination enough to ride you through? Even in the moment a certain level of commitment is urged for the forces to allow the flowers to bloom.

Passion and Desire. Friends and Foes. Maybe secretly they conspire, willing us to find our own unique point of equilibrum. You really want it, but you don't do it. Then it fails to incite you, but you do it anyways.

Maybe the thrill at the end of the day is when you oddly find yourself curled fetal in between sheets of plain white cotton. At peace with all that you never thought you could have brought yourself to do and smiling in the humor of how much you hated it , yet somehow you still managed to bake your cake and icing layer it.

Share.Smile.Love.Hug.

Her strut not as purposeful as before. She smiles as she raises her black nylon pants to reveal the scars that run down both her knobby knees. The journey to her toes is an exponential of blue and black, dotted with shades of withering brown. Diabetes she exclaims in a tongue that remains foreign to her. When she was 20, she came from Fujian to Singapore. Roots of her expression still steeped in Hokkien.

Despite the roll of her words, I still feel like I understand. It's in her energetic hands, her ready smile and vivacious demeanour. It was not a life filled with grace and poise. A widows tale that starts at 31 and lingers at 80. The smile of a survivor, the energy of a child.

At 80? Years of living this life. Her pale grey eyes. Did I catch a twinkle? The curious case of Benjamin Button. Act like children to be treated like them. The cycles that inhabit our souls. Does wisdom peak or does it merely find a window of peaceful detachment and renewed joy? The bliss of ignorance or really the bliss is in the all-knowing.

Perhaps another 50 years to really understand. She smiles and celebrates my youth. Touches my face, stretches her arms to embrace. I wonder if I will ever get there. Each moment precious in the love we can share and give. Could you close tonight and not have to see tomorrow?


Whats on your Bucket List?

I Know I Can, Be What I Wanna Be...

I find it hard to say
Especially on the good days

Just wanna hold it inside
All mine! All mine!

The little girl who always remembered to pray
Today, yes today, the Greatest Love showed her a way

Smile and wow

Something tells me this one's right

NAS: I Can

Lesson #413

So bad for you
So bad for you that you just don't know what to do

In the end, fuck what is in the end?
The mysteries of wait and see

You were right, ain't nothing ever really in black and white
Squared dreams

Control?
Does it really make you whole?

What did i really wanna know?
Hmmm....

Take the easy turn
Fall flat to get up again

Maybe it's easier when the milk turns sour
Throw it out cos bad was what it's all about

Couldn't just celebrate
Had to cry like some big wake

Squared dreams
In my head is all it seems

Couldn't just celebrate
Had to cry like some big wake

After one big blow, can it still be beautiful?

Bette Midler's THE ROSE

Crying is Overrated

Cry because it didn't turn out my way
Cry because the answer was nay





Smile for your hands
Smile because you made those moments so grand

Smile because despite the fears
Smile the aching questions are clear

Smile all the castles in the sky
Smile because now I know it is not you and I

Smile for I think you have found your peace
Smile you give me hope in my release

Smile because I was there when you needed me
Smile the butterflies are free

Smile and cry
No more shall I wonder, tonight I can say goodbye

From now just two old friends
Maybe one day, we smile together again

Duck Rice and Chewy Pretzels

When new friends name old friends
Yet no connection runs through

When the spirit wakes to a faded moon
And far away friends reach out to you

The best friend calls for a day off
Nothing like movies, smokes and famous rice to whisk the dreams

Just when you decide to let go
Behold the faith the ultimate love will help you grow

Some days Alice is in Wonderland
Marching with lion and tin man

Maybe tomorrow they will becomes foes
Twisted fate, chewy pretzels

An elegant dance of attracted souls
Bow, there may never be a next show

Passing, real and beautiful

Tomorrow is Her Birthday

The empty cubicles that bind us.
The embellished holes that define us.

All at once whole.
World within world.

Every moment adds to the story.
Friends, lovers, mothers, me.

The stillness as she contemplates.
Folded knees, enduring heart ache.

Words played in his confined space.
No there to go, he knows, she knows.

Home?
Two untouched pillows.

But they are so much more than this filled cubicle.
Walking eggs afraid to break.

Easy come, hard to hold.
In the end mere beating hearts in the dark.

The door he never closed.
The light she leaves on.

Take Time to Realize........


I love a textured video.

Same Why

start and end the yoga with one pose
run around in a circle, but never leave the zone
How you make me feel
How it all comes back down to you

Maybe i think way beyond my league
the questions rotating
not enough of a feed.
3 years to realise what I need

Time to ask, time to know
time to let my feelings show
time to let go of the fear
open up to the daggers you rear

with love and grace
i will take all the blows
stick around when everyone decides to go
can't you give me a sign?

i just want to know if its even close to the same WHY.

February Wait

Take a taxi on the side of the road. Stand on the edge and hop off right before the car runs close. Take a picture of the girl in the blue wrap dress. Spot her doctor's bag beside her manicured toes. She blinks hard at the gush of dust. Inches forward as her hair trails the passing bus. Where's your camera? Take a mental picture. Look at her smile. Waiting for the one. And it will come. Then all she has to do, is stretch out her arm.

DJ for a Night

I wonder.
I wonder what it takes to be a DJ like Tiesto, Oakenfold, LTJ Bukem. I wonder what it takes to be a great DJ. I also wonder what it takes to just DJ.

British electro-soul band, Hot Chip's co-front man, Al Doyle rolled into town last night. Tickets were priced at a hefty $35. Raised eyebrows across the dancefloor for most who had actually turned up to tune into his frequency, most who had probably never even heard of him before. Even to dance to Van Dyke at Zouk, one only had to fork out club admission ($25@Velvet because I am female, and for once I will only "whisper" discrimination)

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=36068541

The scene was mixed.
The young fashion set well represented in their shiny leotards and quirky vintage bags. The lifestyle writers streamed in, guestlist late with their respective creative director partners, black rimmed glasses in check. The lifestyles of the rich and the expat- brat crowd scattered school canteen style, quick to scrutinize everyone that strolled in after. And of course, there were the party-seeking backpacking tourists, adidas ready and beer hungry.

Pre Doyle, were an onslaught of local DJs, including, a female fashion designer slash rumoured part club owner. Pre Doyle, was an empty dancefloor, the crowd prefering to oil up to each other admist the starlit al fresco adjacent. There was wide screen soccer and waif sweet-young-things, conducting customer surveys on brands, presumably fashion ones.

But the men stopped kissing the men, once a well dressed Doyle took to the turntables. He came in a sportsjacket but soon relegated that fashion statement. He started worldly and ambient, but after the initial hype, the crowd grew lukewarm. A tease on his part? Doyle soon took a raunchy bass heavy electro turn, leaving his audience to revel in his fabulous build-up.

Sexy, soulful, synthetic beats radiated from the speakers. But the crowd was restless and maybe a little too distracted by social signals. Doyle was on point when it came to capturing their attention but less genius at holding it. Soon the DJ was switching from progressive drum and bass to psychedelic Mila Kunis back to raunchy soulful electro all in 3 whole heartbeats, maybe trying a little too hard.

It was a rollercoaster of alcoholic dreams.

Did Doyle play to his audience? Or was good ol Al just here to play the set he worked on a week ago, and really, we were just his obedient dancers?

They say that when Tiesto raises his arms during a set, you wish to bow, because, he is like GOD.

The power of music. A melting pot of sounds, feelings, dreams, emotions. Interconnected and intricately complex. What happens when the DJ takes the helm of a journey through sound. Must every slice of his rhythmic understanding connect with his audience? Or is it the other way around? Does the audience seek the dictation of their DJ? Which maybe isn't such a bad notion, since sometimes all we really want to do IS TO FEEL IT.

This has to be one of my top10 videos:


The power of the music listener. The irony of playing to a select crowd is while the intent sways towards focused appreciation, an inevitability of community culture, is social affection. Being concerned about so and so watching you dance must detract from the ultimate mental and physical enjoyment of the music. When faced with a crowd on edge, is the DJ sensitive to such energy patterns? Or is the DJ setting these energy patterns?

I suppose anyone can claim themselves as Disc Jockeys. Just throw down a few tracks from the ipod at a party or launch a podcast and give yourself a catchy online stage name.
But the good DJs? The ones whose names tweak your butterflies, the ones you actually want to pay to see live....what sets them apart?

I wonder.

What Have We Here

Maybe youtube blogging is my calling

Weird-ass video by weird-ass baldie

Recipie for romance?

When all I wanted to do was send you a track....

UPSET.
Its been 2 days and no matter what I do on Garage band, my immaculately amateur macbook skills continue to fail me. I just cannot seem to successfully blend and record tracks.
YES.
My whimisical attempt at podcasting.
It's clear, I am way too old to claim i can figure all this techie shit on my own. The solution to my problem is so clearly laid out to me if only i click on the neccessary "help" option. But last i recall, i am the generation of innovation, out-of-the-box rule-bender! Put it out to the universe and make it happen!

Anyways.
So, here I am on my neglected shell of a blog. Still un-podcasted and not conceding defeat. Therefore, a medley of music videos courtesy of our fine friends on youtube shall temporarily satiate this urge to share.

Enjoy, even though it may be better if you might close your eyes to listen. The visual power inherent in music videos may misguide your unique listening pleasure....
















Okay so maybe sometimes, music videos can add a whole new dimension haha...